I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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