she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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