i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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