i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
