I love black thongs
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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