Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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