I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
True college students do jello shots in the library
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize