I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize