I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
