My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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