I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
