hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
