how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
