Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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