you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
