Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
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His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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