Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Houston, we have a blender
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
