thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
