I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize