I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
