best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
