I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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