Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize