I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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