I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
