oh god the rape fog is back!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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