I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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