If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
