belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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