I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
