idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my liver is dry heaving
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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