Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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