That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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