More tranny stories later!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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