Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
