the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
