I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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