My Higher Power is John Stamos
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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