That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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