wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I need to calm my uterus...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
