All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
zippers are such a cool invention
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
