i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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