I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
if only i could text you this smell
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
