i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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