god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
