Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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