im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish my penis had an off switch
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She's the barista slut.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
