Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
