remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
babies were throwing up all over the place
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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