Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
