This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
