My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
