Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
