it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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