if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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