you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
