Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
