so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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