I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
